Quotes from “Parenting from the Inside Out”, by D. J. Siegel & M. Hartzell

Posted on Jan 16, 2013 in Parenting

  • When parents had an opportunity to reflect on their own childhood experiences they could make more effective choices in raising their own children.


  • In the absence of reflection, history often repeats itself, and parents are vulnerable to passing on to their children unhealthy patterns from the past. Understanding our lives can free us from the otherwise almost predictable situation in which we recreate the damage to our children.


  • Emotional intelligence, self-esteem, cognitive abilities, and social skills are built on early attachment relationship.


  • Talking with children about their thoughts, memories, and feelings provides them with essential interpersonal experiences necessary for self-understanding and building their social skills.


  • Children try to understand and make sense out of their experiences. Telling your children the story of an experience can help them integrate both the evens and the emotional content of that experience. Such an interaction with you can greatly help them make sense out of what happened to them and give them the experiential tools to become reflective, insightful people.


  • Your children give you the opportunity to grow and challenge you to examine issues left over from your own childhood. If you approach such challenges as a burden, parenting can become an unpleasant chore. If, on the other hand, you try to see these moments as learning opportunities, then you can continue to grow and develop.


  • We can’t change what happened to us as children but we can change the way we think about those event.