Parenting

Putting space

Putting space between you and your reaction allows you to respond with kindness. Mitch Abblett

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Today’s phrase May 2014

Children learn at a very young age to block their feelings to gain approval to get their needs met, interfering with healthy growth and development. Oaklander

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Learn from Jolette Jai

Your job as a parent is to be there for your kids, to relate to them and get in their world as much as you possibly can. Your job is to understand them, to recognize them as NEW in this world and to create a safe space for them to learn and grow. It is your job to make it safe for them to express ANYTHING they need to express.

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Behind the difficult behavior

Personality, behavior and emotions Emotions affect our thoughts and behaviour. This is same for everyone – adults and children,or even people not having issues. We see emotionsin schools or at work. We can’t perform well when we are upset. In my parenting talk I say “separate behavior from personality”. When a child misbehaves we don’t say “you are a naughty or bad child”. She may have done something wrong, but she is not a bad person. I take one more step and ask”what are the emotions behind the misbehaivour?” When I think of children who...

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Quotes from “Parenting from the Inside Out”, by D. J. Siegel & M. Hartzell

When parents had an opportunity to reflect on their own childhood experiences they could make more effective choices in raising their own children.   In the absence of reflection, history often repeats itself, and parents are vulnerable to passing on to their children unhealthy patterns from the past. Understanding our lives can free us from the otherwise almost predictable situation in which we recreate the damage to our children.   Emotional intelligence, self-esteem, cognitive abilities, and social skills are built on early attachment relationship.   Talking with...

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Don’t give in but don’t prohibit crying

Last time we learnt that children send messages of their important desires by crying. “… but it is different story whether parents have to accept all the requests or not” Mr Abe says. There is time when you can’t accept their request or desires if it is not good for the child, or you don’t want your child to copy such behaviours. If parents give in each time when their child cries, it leads the child to be selfish or the child gets power to control the parents. For this reason parents say “Don’t act like baby!!” or “Don’t cry because I won’t let you”. Still, it is...

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