Articles – Counselling

“To love yourself”: Learning from Ms Yuko Watanabe

This book was published by ‘Inochi no kotoba sha’. It was given to me by my older sister more than 20 years ago. It had been left on the book shelf for a long time but I re-read it a few yeas ago. I’m sure when I read it before that it left some impression on me, as there were some marks on the pages. But at the time when I started to re-read it I didn’t remember much. That time was hard for me as I was carrying painful emotions, so this title struck me. Ms Watanabe, the author of this book, had experienced obsessive-compulsive disorder. After she had those dark days she had strength...

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When you feel sadness or pain

How do you deal with your sadness or pain, or feeling upset? People often say that time will solve the problems. Sharp feelings may fade away, but if you just put a lid on to that, the feeling is like “Jack in the box”. It jumps out if there is any trigger, or it feels like just holding on so not to burst. Our society treats crying and anger as if it is bad behaviour. But it is Ok to express them in a respectful way. These are the emotions that we have naturally, and are the same as the other emotions. However, it is true that we need to consider how to express them. We should not push...

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Attract and Attack

Our nature is we long for something we don’t have. It happens to personality, too. People with opposite temperaments attract each other. When we respect each other’s differences we are given an uniqueness; it makes a beautiful complementary whole. But sadly that difference can create conflict. The truth is opposites may attract. But just as often, they attack! In such a case normally they think the opponent has to change to fit with their own feelings or thoughts. Each person has expectations towards the others. It may come from family of origin, or from the way our parents were. Here...

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Family Therapy for Immigrants and Second Generation Immigrants

Are you feeling “Caught” between Cultures? For immigrant parents Do you feel that your children don’t want to adhere to your cultural traditions and customs? Is this the source of much disappointment and stress? Do you feel inadequate or out of control as a parent? For second generation immigrants Do you feel that your parents don’t understand your effort to integrate the new culture? Do you feel that when you arrived in the new country, your parents didn’t recognise your feelings and give you support you needed to feal with being between two cultures? Most...

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